When we talk about burnout there can be a lot of emphasis placed on how the workplace can support us, what behaviours we might need to change – better “work life balance” etc. All of this is very worthwhile and important but there are other things that can get in our way, that list is long but today I wanted to share a few that I recognised in myself in case they resonate with anyone else.
So here are 3 things I wish I’d known sooner:
- The first person who needs to give permission for me to rest is myself.
We know how important breaks are in practice, the evidence is there to show that it not only benefits our wellbeing but also our productivity. Surely taking breaks should be a no-brainer for both employee and employer?
Yet even when people have breaks written into their contracts (often unpaid as well), they still struggle to take them. I had breaks scheduled on to my diary (reasonable adjustment for my ME/CFS) yet I still rarely took a proper break. At the time I blamed it on the scheduling, yes often the breaks were scheduled when I needed to be driving or insufficient time had been allocated for a visit which would eat into my break time. I got cross at the admin team and told myself it was all their fault, yet even on the odd day where I did have sufficient time to take a break I would spend that time writing notes or calling clients. If I’m honest what I really wanted was for someone to force me to stop, but that takes away all my responsibility for ensuring I had some rest.
The underlying reason – I wasn’t giving myself permission to rest, didn’t think I was worth it, was worried how people would perceive me if I prioritised my own health over my work. Until I shifted this narrative it was always going to be a battle. Now I’m self-employed this battle is often quite hilarious as the only person I have to blame is always myself.
- Comparing myself to my colleagues is/was pointless.
It is exceptionally normal to compare ourselves to those around us. In my first equine job this was further encouraged by the use of KPIs which compared all the equine vets against each other. The flaw with this system is that I was only a year graduated and the next most junior vet was over 6 years graduated and finishing a certificate. Was it that helpful? It could have been if it had helped encourage me and given me something to aspire to, if it had been used to help me work out my career goals and an action plan… Black and white comparison though? Really unhelpful.
I continued this habit in my next job as the only female vet working with two far more senior male vets I continued comparing my clinical knowledge and skills and even my client relationships (I’m sure I don’t need to explain how laughable this is in equine practice as the only junior female vet). Then again in my other places of work.
Did this help me? Not really. As I said – if I had used this information to help focus on myself in a positive manner it could have potentially been helpful. Really the only person I should have been comparing myself to was… myself. Getting clear on who I wanted to be as a vet, how I wanted to work, where I was now and what my best next steps were would have been far more productive and supportive. As it was I went round in spirals of frustration and never feeling good enough, rarely reflecting on how much I’d learnt and developed.
- Not everyone had to like me.
Now this is a tricky one for many of us, isn’t it? The constant need to be liked by all. Have you ever stopped to consider how it’s serving you?
When I look back on it, my pursuit for everyone to like me came at a cost, not only to myself but also my patients. The clients I placated to make things easier and keep me in their good books. The extra visits I picked up to help out colleagues or keep a client sweet.
I think this can be such a tricky line to tread as a veterinary professional. How do we look after ourselves and our patients whilst also being a good team member and ultimately not losing clients?
I’m afraid I’ve got no definitive easy answer. I think it’s a messy process of becoming more comfortable and secure in yourself, learning some really effective communication strategies and accepting that you can’t win them all. There’s definitely a dose of learning to say no in there somewhere as well.
That’s my 3 points. I’m sure if I pondered for longer I could come up with several more but I wanted to share these today. If they resonate and you’re finding things difficult right now can I suggest you reach out to someone? A mentor, coach, therapist, someone who can really help you examine your thought processes (and potentially the nervous system and bodily processes as well). Just because this is how you might be operating now doesn’t mean it has to stay that way.
Would love to hear your reflection on this, what resonated? What else would you add?